Torchwood Season One

wrapped up here in nice, linky form:

1×01 -Everything Changes (part 1) (part 2)

1×02 -Day One (part 1) (part 2)

1×03 -Ghost Machine (part 1) (part 2)

1×04 -Cyberwoman (part 1) (part 2)

1×05 -Small Worlds (part 1) (part 2)

1×06 -Countrycide (part 1) (part 2)

1×07 -Greeks Bearing Gifts (part 1) (part 2)

1×08 -They Keep Killing Suzie (part 1) (part 2)

1×09 -Random Shoes (part 1)

1×10 -Out of Time (part 1)

1×11 – Combat (part 1) (part 2)

1×12 – Captain Jack Harkness (part 1) (part 2)

1×13 – End of Days (part 1) (part 2)

man that looks like a lot written out like that. Season Two will probably start after I finished Key to Time and possibly some other random classic episodes.

Torchwood 1×13: End of Days (part 2)

Okay, sorry about that hiatus – I’m coming down off a long and intense Venture Brothers binge, but I’m back now (ran out of episodes). Time to finish the first season! Also time to watch Rhys get tased again. Woo! And I thought Heroes was getting shock-happy.

Torchwood 1×13: End of Days (part 1)

Aha – after twelve episodes of this show I have finally noticed that that weird whispering behind the opening “song” is actually someone saying ‘Torchwood,’ but all distorted and dragged out. Drug out? Is that just me getting Southern again? Anyway. We come in on Gwen the Boyfriend-Drugger (although I think the show seems to be pretending that little divergence in character never happened – let’s just forget that entire shitty episode, shall we?) and her Fairly-Comprehensible Boyfriend in bed, being snuggly and gross. Rhys gets up to start breakfast and we get another shot of buck-ass naked Rhys from behind. Nothing against the actor but, of all the people on this show, why is Rhys the one we’re constantly seeing naked? He further traumatizes me by playing her a little song using his buttcheeks as drums, and goes out. She giggles, and her cell rings. It’s Jack.
“Are you watching the news?”
Weird shit is happening all over the place – UFOs over the Taj Mahal (if it hadn’t been a million years since I watched Who, I could probably tell you who those are), historical figures appearing in London, basically everything’s going crazy. It’s Army of Ghosts or Christmas Invasion all over again. Some religious nuts look into the news camera and say, “This is the End of Days!”

Torchwood 1×12: Captain Jack Harkness (part 2)

Bilis leads Gwen into his office. “Is anyone expecting you?” he asks casually. Because this is apparently not setting off crazy warning bells in her head the way it should, Gwen simply says yes.
“Perhaps you should call them. Otherwise they may think you’ve disappeared too.”
Bilis goes to go make the tea, and I may want Bilis’s coat even more than I want Jack’s. Or I could layer them. Oh man. But enough about illicit sartorial threesomes with other peoples’ clothing.

Torchwood 1×12: Captain Jack Harkness (part 1)

We get a few more flashbacks in the opening credits, this time clearly to establish the whole ‘Owen’s girlfriend left him for a plane and now he’s all mopey and has issues and may be suicidal’ thing, I guess in case you’re not watching all these episodes on DVD like I am and missed a few. Anyway, I really don’t see how that’s the most important thing going on right now. It just seems odd. Cardiff! And it’s daytime! And sunny! Wait, maybe we’re not in Cardiff then.

Torchwood 1×11: Combat (part 2)

Jack storms into the prison area with Tosh and Ianto right behind him. He says that Boll’s reticence has left them only one option. He leans in to look at the weevil in the cell.
“Aright, Janet, ready for a trip out?” he calls.
“You call it Janet?”
Jack shrugs. “Barbara just never seemed right.” Ianto shrugs like, well, duh. Tosh is still horrified.

Torchwood 1×11: Combat (part 1)

They’ve stuck some flashbacks from the previous episode into the opening credits – do they usually do that, and I just don’t pay attention? Anyway, it’s nighttime in Cardiff and Jack’s chasing down a weevil (remember? from the first episode?). He corners it on a loading dock and gives it a disturbingly come-hither look. “You’re not my first, you know,” he says. Oh Jack, not everything needs to become sexy. Especially not that nasty hairy mask the weevil has on. He tells the weevil to make this easy on both of them but it’s not in the mood and jumps him. Jack gets in a good right hook but then the weevil just whales on him and runs off. Jack is bleeding from scratch marks on his chest. “This always happens when I give them the night off!” he pants.

Torchwood 1×10: Out of Time

An old-timey plane roars through the sky. It’s a biplane, but not the kind you’re thinking of – think more Howard Hughes era. Owen, Jack, and Gwen are waiting near the landing strip. They’re tense. We get a good long period of no dialogue while the plane comes in for a landing. The longer these guys go without talking, the happier I usually am. This episode does seem to have much more promise than the last one, though. The pilot, a woman with that super-styled 50’s hair, hops out and thanks Jack for letting her land, since they were experiencing turbulence. She introduces herself as Diana Holmes. Behind her, a young woman in pink and a man get out of the plane. Jack grins at them and asks casually when they left.
“Oh, about half an hour ago.”
“What date?” Diana looks at him oddly.
“Well, today of course. December 18th.”
“And which year?” She’s confused. “Which year? I need to know.”
“1953.”

Torchwood 1×09: Random Shoes

I think this episode may win for weirdest title. We start with some fuzzy camerawork and a voiceover saying, “The speed of light is 299,792,458 meters per second.” Mohinder? That you? Oh, I miss Heroes. “Pain,” the voice continues, “Travels through the body at 350 feet per second.” Voiceover Guy is creeping me out a little. “Even a sneeze can reach over 100 miles per hour! And as for life … well, that just bloody whizzes by.” Voiceover Guy seems to be lying on his back in the middle of the road. Knowing this show, he’s probably narrating from beyond the grave. He introduces himself as Eugene Jones, as a clock starts ticking in the background. Clearly Sylar is about to steal Eugene’s brain. Eugene sits up and looks around in utter confusion, like he can’t figure out what he’s doing in the middle of the street. He gets up and walks through a police cordon and past the BBSUV.

Torchwood 1×08: They Keep Killing Suzie (part 2)

Gwen, Jack and Owen head into the Wolf Bar with Suzie and Tosh in contact on headphones back at BQ. The Wolf Bar is your basic, loud shitty music, flashy lights, random extras jumping around randomly because there’s no actual music on set kind of place. Suzie is creeping Gwen out by crooning that the glove’s getting inside her mind. The three in the club spread out and start looking for Max or Lucy. Since Gwen told her to knock it off with the creepy, Suzie turns her attentions to Tosh.